so things are normal. that's good right? i feel at home, sort of. i used to know that i was still excited about being here when i would look around me and say, "holy fuck, i'm in germany." or europe, or spain, or wherever i was. i don't think i've done that in at least 4-6 months. i don't know if that's good, bad, or to be expected, but that's how it is. maybe i need to be more active. but that's hard when you're tired from working all day. working hard all day. maybe i need more vitamins. vitamins are the german's "cure-all." like polysporin for my mother. whatever i do during the day, though, it almost always seems fun. sure the romanticism of being a farmer has died off and the tractors don't always run, but everyday i accomplish something. at 6 pm the cows are fed and the eggs are gathered. and that's important. even more important than seeing the eiffel tower or brandenburg gate. of course, when i finish here in germany, i feel i missed out on some opportunities. but when haven't i missed out on opportunities. i do that all the time. i asked my friend niguel one time, when he was planning to go to paris for his holidays. he told me he wasn't going. he decided he would not go to paris. to him, paris was magical, romantic. and to go there, now, would only ruin it. he would see that it's a dirty, smelly, expensive city. and these negative aspects would do away with the romanticism. ( i haven't been to paris, i'll back this statement up after i go in july. i have no doubt that it is a dirty, smelly, expensive city.)
now i'm tired, would like to stop thinking. to sum what i've learned today, it would be: blogging, farming, going to europe or just paris, all seem like a good idea at first, full of romantic magic and wonder. but when you actually do them, you realize what a fool you were. hmm, that didn't come out right. oh well.
